You know, our childhood was already a little weird. Talking animals and inanimate objects were an unquestioned constant and the plots always wind up making adults scratch their heads. It's when the people making children's media try and be a little scary we have a problem.

Follow up:

10. Heffalumps and Woozles.

Aww, Winnie the Pooh. Who doesn't remember watching as an obese bright yellow bear rolled in the mud then tied himself to a balloon to eat more honey? It's a cute little movie following a couple of stories. Pooh bear tries to get honey, Pooh bear eats too much honey at Rabbit's and gets stuck in the door and so on and so forth. It's easy to see why such a cute little film is such a classic.

However, some people seem to block the part where Pooh stays up all night during a flood to protect his honey. We all know lack of sleep causes hallucinations and...wow, what a hallucination this is. It starts out with a voice saying that things called heffalumps and woozles steal honey while Pooh floats around in space. Finally he lands on the ground and talking/singing honey pots straight from the movie Poltergeist start flying around him talking about these horrible creatures.

The scene is filled with all sorts of weird things. At the line talking about how the heffalumps and woozles come in ones and twozles and how they breed like rabbits, the heffalumps become a part of a bigger heffalumps shirt. Then, it turns into a woozle then into a honey pot. Then there's the instrumental. Heffalump's playing their trunks like accordions while some use long gooey strings of honey as harps. A heffalump couple dance to a slow waltz and while the girl is twirling and dancing smoothly...the boy. Oh, how he stares at you with these wide, overly-caffeinated. Into your soul.

THEN JACK-IN-THE-BOX WOOZLES OH GOD.

9. The Dark Crystal.

This movie is one of my favorites. The thing is, Dark Crystal is for older children about in the double digit age. Yes, I know, Jim Henson did it. That's one of the reasons why I love it, the muppetry (if you want to call it that) is downright artistic and the creatures are one of the most creative things I've ever seen. It's classic good and evil, hero wins and gets the girl, blah, blah, blah. The evil is the thing that's scariest, as evil should be, but you know.

The exposition voice over states that there was once a race that relied on a crystal and were the crystal's keepers. One day the members of said race started to quarrel and a part of the crystal was cracked. They split into the Skeksis and the Mystics. The Mystics are large, lumbering things with four arms and their name implies what they do. Sand paintings, medicine and astronomy. The Skeksis are the bad guys. Skeksis are hunchbacked, vulture-like, gray-skinned things. The movie starts out with the General and Chamberlain going to see the dying emperor. I watched this movie when I was kind of young and this is the part that I would skip when watching it. The emperor is a raspy husk of a thing. He's weak and the Chamberlain goes to grab his scepter as he hopes that the emperor will pass the power down to him.

The emperor is not as dead as previously thought and he jerks alive. His voice is what scared me the most and I have to admit it still gives me goosebumps. Imagine Donald Duck, but if he smoked five packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day and had pneumonia. He wheezes about how he's still emperor before he dies and when he croaks, he starts to dissolve. It's creepy. The entire race is creepy. I have a love-hate relationship with them. They creep me out yet they are so wonderfully evil. They use the cute little potato people (Podlings) as slaves. They suck out their life juice to drink and it keeps them young. Oh, and they committed mass genocide. The main character and his girlfriend are the last of their race.

8. Dementors from Harry Potter.

Dementors are described as dark, cloaked figures. They float around and when they take their hoods off, their heads are nothing except holes for mouths. They use their mouths to suck out souls, called the Dementor's Kiss, and they're used by Azkaban prison to keep their inmates under control. They suck away all happy emotions and leave you with your worst memories and nightmares. For example, when Harry first meets them, he hears a woman screaming his name because the Dementors are making him relive his parents murders.

Not only do they suck out souls and good memories from people, but they suck away all warmth and cheerfulness wherever they go. You can tell a Dementor is coming up just by the fact everything has gone cold, gray and depressing. They attack at the slightest and most subtle provoking and the punishment for doing so is harsh.

The person who created the Dementors for the movies absolutely studied the book. They're introduced in Prisoner of Azkaban, the third book in the series, as guards for Hogwarts. The Ministry of Magic believes that Sirius Black is going to come after Harry because they thought Sirius betrayed the Potters to Lord Voldemort. They float around protecting the grounds but sometimes, when the fancy takes them, they interrupt games of Quidditch.

7. The Child Catcher.

Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang is one of the most obnoxious movies to ever have been made. It is, however, still somewhat addicting in it's oddness. An inventor, an heiress and the inventor's kids wind up going to some far away country, because the inventor's senile father was kidnapped. When they find out that the Baron and Baroness loathe children and have somebody known only as the Child Catcher in their employ, the inventor leaves the heiress and the kids behind. The kids begin to whine about how hungry they are so the heiress scuttles off to get food. There was a scene where the Child Catcher interrogated the toymaker that was hiding them in the basement of his shop but the full-on creepy was not yet realized.

While the kids wait for Truly (heiress) to come back with the food, they hear the Child Catcher getting his ultra-creep on. He's dressed in a rainbow poncho and has candy. Of course the kids have sweet teeth, so they go and get inside his caravan. The sides fall away and it's revealed that they wandered into a gigantic cage, and they're carted away.

That's why your parents told you not to accept candy from strangers.

6 & 5. The dream from Brave Little Toaster and A B-Movie Show & Worthless.

Brave Little Toaster. Oh, I adored this film when I was a little girl. This was recorded on a video cassette with Winnie the Pooh so, hey, double the creepy! This gets two spots on the list. The first part is a dream that Toaster has while they're stranded in the creepy forest after that slight nature acid trip of frogs and depressed flowers. It starts out with Master making toast and we feel warm and fuzzy. Poor Toaster just wants to be back at home. Master makes some faces in the toasters and then there's smoke. Somehow, even thought both pieces of toast popped out, one piece got singed. That automatically means a gigantic fire and a smoke monster that snatches Master away. Toaster reaches for him but is stopped by a gigantic clown fireman. Because, you know, children aren't afraid of clowns already. The fireman's tall and looming and his hair is bright red and spiked to make it look like horns. He leans forward and smiles widely, showing his yellow, crooked teeth. Smoke emits from his mouth as he talks. “Run,” he hisses as Toaster runs away. The fireman shoots water at it and the water turns into forks, a toaster's greatest enemies. The dream ends with the clown cackling while Toaster dangles over a bathtub and it loses it's grip only to wake up to a terrible storm.

Then, there's the songs. One is in the parts shop as Peter Laurie ceiling lamp explains that they can't escape. The other broken appliances, ranging from a broken Walkman to an old gramophone, sing about the horrors of the parts shop. There's a lot of references to older horror movies, Frankenstein, House of Wax and stuff like that. Later, they're in a dump, facing a bunch of old cars. They're singing about how old and worthless they are. That's what the song is called. Worthless. They talk about their lives when they were younger and about how they can't start now or something like that. Except for two cars. One is a yellow limo with bullhorns on the hood, the other is a hearse. Their verses are one after the other and they get demolished together.

[Limo]
Once drove a Texan to a wedding, once drove a Texan to a wedding.
He kept forgetting,
His loneliness letting.
His thoughts turned to home and we turned.

[Hearse]
I took a man to a graveyard.
I beg your pardon,
It's quite hard now,
Living with the stuff I have learned.

4. The Banana Splits.

This is a show from the late 1960s and you might not have ever seen or heard of it, depending on your age. If you haven't I suggest you look up the theme song. I'll wait.

Back? Good.

Yup. That...that's some LSD use going on there. I've got nothing else to say other than soft whimperings into my palms as I try to shield my eyes

3. The Forest from Snow White.

Everyone knows the story of Snow White. A jealous stepmother is pissed over the fact that her stepdaughter is prettier than her. The queen makes Snow White work for her constantly. While working out in the back one day, Snow meets up with Prince Charming. He sees her and falls in love with her instantly. She's a little shy at first but finds his company delightful. The queen instantly gets angry over this and has her henchman take her into the woods to kill her. Not only kill her, but BRING THE QUEEN SNOW WHITE'S HEART IN A BOX.

The henchman can't do it, though, because Snow is just too sweet to murder. He tells her to run and brings the queen the heart of a pig instead. While Snow White runs, she winds up going into the forest. Every branch is a hand trying to grab her, every tree trunk a creepy face, every log in the lake...an alligator? And, of course, the finale is before she passes out. Before she collapses, Snow seems to be under the impression that every single thing is a pair of eyes staring at her.

2. The Tunnel from Willy Wonka.

Willy Wonka starts out as a story about a boy named Charlie Bucket. He's poor and has always wanted to go into the factory of candy genius Willy Wonka. Wonka sends out five golden tickets across the world and Charlie is lucky enough to find one. Him and the four other winners go into a gigantic room that could kill Wilford Brimley in five seconds. Wonka sings a whimsical song and the fat child drowns in a river of chocolate. Wonka summons up his cheap midget slave labor and they hop onto a pink boat.

Then...chaos. Wonka starts to sing softly while things play on the tunnel walls. A dead body, a weird eye, a chicken having its head cut off. All the while Wonka is singing, getting louder and louder.

“Surely the danger must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing!”

When the adults (and some of the kids) start to complain Wonka's response is to screech at the top of his lungs. After the tunnel is over and done with...nobody mentions it ever again. That is the weirdest part to me, really. I would be at the end of the tour and I would STILL be going “Uh...Mr. Wonka? What exactly was that just a while back? And those other kids are dead, aren't they?”

1. Pink Elephants on Parade.

Like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Dumbo starts out completely normal. A mutant elephant is made fun of and his mother is locked away for defending him from abusive children. Dumbo is sad after being part of a clown act where he got hurt, and is also still upset over the fact that he's only a few days out of the womb and he's been exiled from his community and his mother has been taken away. While he's sobbing profusely his caretaker Tim Mouse simply talks about how Dumbo will use his physical deformity in the best way he's capable of...being a circus act! Because of the crying, Dumbo gets the hiccups, so Tim decides to have him drink some water to try and get rid of them. Earlier in the movie the clowns decided to have a toast over how successful their baby elephant abuse had been. The bottle of alcohol falls into the bucket of water that Dumbo drinks.

So, Dumbo gets drunk, which the creators seemed to have mistaken for doing a lot of hallucinogenic drugs. First Dumbo starts blowing bubbles with his trunk. It's odd to have in a Disney movie but it's still kinda cute. Just a tipsy circus freak orphan doing tricks. Then the bubbles start to take shape and turn into pink elephants, because for some reason the term "seeing pink elephants," means being drunk.

The tripping starts out fairly calmly and then it turns into an absolute horror show of seizure inducing things. Whatever happened during the night of Technicolor pachyderms, Dumbo and Tim wind up in a tree with the infamous crows, patron saints of family racism.